Our CCXV will be led by ACT Brumbies and former Munster & Gloucester Rugby Coach, “Lord” Laurie Fisher.
Laurie now joins the illustrious ranks of Rod Macqueen and Bob Dwyer in what is sure to be the pinnacle of his career, to date. A VERY warm welcome to the CCXV for THE LORD and the closest most of our blokes will get to a religious experience!
The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice a slight change to the original published squad with Greg Mumm still getting over being shown up by his Old Man in Crookwell and has had to pull out due to work duties. Greg has been replaced by the one and only “Harpoon” Harry Fitzgibbon! H or ‘Kristian’ (as he prefers to be known) is a former St Pats Goulburn First XV, Dirty Red, Wagga Aggie, Randwick Colt, Pakistan Idol Finalist and Captain of two Premiership winning Junee Rams teams so is bringing plenty of onfield experience, despite his off-field form being ordinary to date. Former Wallaby and Cauliflower Club Director, Rob Horne, will also be joining us in support to add to the Wallaby contingent and will be handy in providing Maggot with some tips on how to spend his time on the wing (haircare etc) while the Forwards do the hard yards.
Currently occupying the lofty position of Treasurer of CCA, we are delighted that HOSS is joining us for his inaugural CCXV experience at Wagga Wagga.
Firstly, the nickname. Hoss. "It's not very imaginative, but it works"
In a typical 'suit' answer, when asked to name his favourite beverage, he smirked and replied "most of them".
Do you identify as a Forward, Back or Trans-Positioned "As a Back, although I was a forward in my
formative years" [They all secretly want to be Forwards!]
Would you rather fight a Gorilla-sized Duck or Ten Duck-sized Gorillas and why? "A gorilla sized duck. A big duck is still just a duck".
Greatest Rugby Moment? "I scored the first 5 point try for the Bowral Blacks –no-one can ever repeat that!"
You are stuck on a desert island with a Winger, an Outside Centre and a Fullback and must a)kiss one ; b) marry one and c) shoot one. Explain why you would choose option C for all three? "Man’s got to eat... "
Rugby Hero "It depends. If we’re just talking about on-field skill and promoting the way the game should be played, it’s very hard to go past Campo. If it’s the spirit of Rugby, then it’s the 500 game veteran propping up thirsty thirds"
How does it feel to be chosen to play in the Cauliflower Club XV? "I haven’t pulled on the boots for over 15 years, so truthfully, a mixture of trepidation and excitement."
A familiar face to many in the CCXV community - Former Platypi, Wayne O'Neill, is the driving force behind the Forbes Rugby Old Boys - who hosted a fantastic CCXV outing last year. We sat down with Wayne to find out a little more about one of our two debutants for our upcoming game.
Known by his nickname of 'Blockhead', Wayne's favourite beverage is 'Stone & Wood - anything boo-teek'. On the thorny question of whether he identifies as a forward, back or trans-position, he was adamant 'Forward. Backs should be [edited, not fit for print].
The standard interview question 'would you rather fight a gorilla sized duck or ten duck sized gorillas and why? He confided that he would take on 'a gorilla sized duck as he has never been good in a fight when outnumbered'.
Touchingly, his greatest rugby moment ...“Coaching/managing my son playing rugby and watching him slowly grow in to the rugby family.”
When posed the challenge - 'you are stuck on a desert island with a Winger, an Outside Centre and a Fullback and must a) kiss one ; b) marry one and c) shoot one. Explain why you would choose option C for all three?' the calculated response was “Three's a crowd, Four is ridiculous. Shoot them over a period of time and use them for bait.”
His Rugby Hero? “It was Jeremy Paul until he dropped the ball 4 times playing at Forbes last year. John Eales for his leadership and goal kicking, always thought of myself as a kicker!”
And finally, on how it feels to be chosen to play in the Cauliflower Club XV?
“Honoured, though a little concerned about the light-weight packing down in the second row with me.”.......Dean Mumm has been contacted for comment (Ed.)
Wallaby No.682, Cauliflower Club Founder & Chairman, Republic Advocate, Prolific Author and friend of every child looking to buy a Father’s Day gift for their Old Man, “Fitz” needs no introduction. When he isn’t writing columns for the SMH or researching his latest book, Fitz can be seen or heard on any medium that will have him, commentating, sparring, jarring and promoting any sporting story that has come across his desk that week. Our own “Eddie Everywhere”, Google Earth once took an aerial shot of NSW and spotted him at three separate speaking engagements at the one time.
A Wallaby Tourist and one of the original Brumbies Squad in 1996, The Duke is an enigma. One of his hero’s, Johnny Cash sang, The Duke is “a walking contradiction, partly truth, mostly fiction” with public records not going back far enough to reveal his actual date of birth. Rumour has it that he was raised in Jimmy Sharman’s boxing tent, touring the Outback until his early 20’s when he dropped the golden gloves and had a rugby ball put in his hand. Not being able to discern the difference between a maul and a brawl, this was actually not a problem for The Duke where he proceeded to punch on with any opposition Prop put in front of him. The Duke once scared Chuck Norris with a game of ‘Peek-A-Boo’ and likes making fragrant candles in his spare time, with his favourite meal being concrete nails with a side of razor blades.
A typical retired Prop who honestly remembers his Rugby career as being a lot more successful than it actually was, “Swag” can provide a rundown on every try he ever scored and every pub he has ever walked into to anyone too slow to run out of his reach. A Front Row Tragic, Swag still hasn’t gotten over Ewan McKenzie’s resignation as Wallabies Coach and believes that Ewan, Phil Kearns and Tony Daly are the true Holy Trinity. If you have a few spare hours, ask him what’s wrong with the Wallaby scrum or about the time he played against John Eales….
“Adonis”, “Fit’, “Mentor”….just some of the words that “Pappas” likes to use to describe himself. A Halfback stuck in a Front Rower’s body, Nick talks to anybody as if he was actually a Back and after being embroiled in the “CCXV Box Kicking Scandal” in Cooma in 2017, had his membership to the FRU torn up and was stamped NTA (Never Tour Again). With redemption stories being prominent with the recent comeback of James O’Connor, Nick has been thrown a CCXV lifeline under the provision that he never speaks about Israel Folau. After a successful career in Finance, Nick has recently changed pace, sold his business and returned to his first love, making Kebabs. You can check out his blog on SBS Foods “Houmous-exuality”.
Ridiculously good looking for his age but typical due to his position on the wing, “Maggot” does his best to live up to his nickname and is one of the CCXV’s few actual Backs. Has scored more tries for the CCXV than any other player but has a habit of sucking up to the forwards, dispensing with haircare products and shaving his head a few years ago to gain more acceptance from his Front Row Heroes. A quiet achiever, Maggot, is able to fall asleep on any barstool in any establishment after six tins of Great Northern Mids.
Listing communication as one of his greatest attributes, Pat is one of the most difficult to get in touch with, constantly jet-setting between Wagga, Dubbo and Las Vegas in his role as an Insurance CEO and Mankini Entrepreneur. Described by many in the Wagga area as being the best ball-runner to never make it into a Third Division team and when it comes to Rugby, Patty has great hair and a caboose like a Czech Weightlifter.
Whilst constantly denying that he chose his own nickname to counter the obvious uncouth monikers given to him by his Rugby team mates over the years, “Dale” is another of the CCXV’s few Backs. Despite being a 300 game veteran for the Crookwell Dogs, Dale constantly struggles to gain the respect of his peers in the Forward Pack and keeps his own Scanlon Footy Card in his wallet to remind anyone of the time he played for the Balmain Tigers.
The only CCXV member to suffer from furballs and the CCXV’s ‘SPIRIT ANIMAL’. “The Rug” is the proud Australian Record Holder for longest continual B,S&C Wax, breaking the record in ‘Madam Chan’s Beauty Salon & Dry Cleaning’ in Lidcombe back in 2017 – only 23 minutes short of the International record held by a Kazakhstani Grandmother. A true Rugby man with a fetish for overseas Rugby Tours, Rug has forgotten more Rugby songs than he can remember (due to numerous concussions). Having lived in Cobar & Singleton, Rug divides his holiday time between Dapto in Winter and Lithgow in Summer.
The CCXV’s man of many names, answering to ‘H’, ‘Harpoon Harry’, ‘Poona’, ‘Brick Top’ and ‘Black Jack Booligal’ but christened ‘Kristian’ by Joe & Mary Fitzgibbon. A Wagga Local but born in the disputed Kashmir region in Pakistan and migrating to our shores as a four year old, he likes to speak with an Irish accent after a pint of Kilkenny and his distaste for his birth-name is second only to his hatred for Manly Sea-Eagles as a die-hard and long suffering Parra Fan. A Rugby harlot, H has played for Randwick, Goulburn Dirty Reds, Wagga Aggies and captained the mighty Junee Rams to a brace of SIRU premierships..
One of the Gentlemen of Rugby, “Peg’ is well known in the Monaro region as President of Cooma Rugby Old Boys and having bigger feet than Shaq. The only Cooma Rugby lad who can put up with rooming with CCXV Prop, Grant Venables’, Peg also fancies himself as a Cricketer and whenever asked where he buys his enormous Cricket shoes from, he always replies “Same as my Box Protector, they come as a set”, winks and walks off to the Bar.
A self-described cross-word enthusiast and amateur Grey Hound Racer, ‘The Boar’ bookended the Cooma First XV scrum for over 10 years, retiring before he had become too fat & slow to make any genuine on-field contribution. Many former Red Devil Coaches believe he peaked in his very first season. His favourite dramatic actor is Will Ferrell and his dream is, to one day, travel to the Catalina Wine-Mixer.
What can be said about ‘Temple’ that hasn’t already been stated as depositions in numerous courts and legal practises around the country? Adventurer, Philosopher, Vegan BBQ Specialist and a genuine Guinness World Record Holder for largest flag unfurled under water (fair dinkum!) Better known as the bro-mantic partner of fellow CCXV Member, Woodsy, he is exceptionally proud of ending the Rugby career of fellow CCXV Prop, Bill Porteous. Instead of Temple, his nickname should be ‘Luna Park’ due to how he treats his body.
A 75 year old trapped in a 56 year old’s body, ‘Donuts’ is actually 43 years old. A former Jackaroo, Journo, CEO, Cauliflower Club Director and Political Animal, Duncan has loved every minute of his involvement with the CCXV, his first foray back into Rugby since peeling oranges for the Humpty Doo Swampdogs.
The most fined Player in CCXV history, Barks has the dubious honour of earning more fines in his first CCXV outing than the rest of the squad put together and once wore a Brisbane Broncos shirt to a formal team dinner. As a dyed-in-the-wool Rugby Man, it is hard to distinguish if Barks is completely oblivious to Rugby Tradition or he just likes the attention.
A former Parking Inspector and Auditor for the ATO, our own Official Referee of the CCXV, Muzz, takes more pleasure in blowing his whistle than he rightly should. Widely considered to be a massive bastard both on & off the field, he has a small window between his 3rd & 5th beer where is vaguely likeable. He likes bespoke soft furnishings but hates sleeping on couches.
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We are very grateful to these wonderful companies who have come on board to support the CCXV. Please support them where you can.
Thursday 10:18 AM “BOAR NOT BRINGING HOME THE BACON”
In a stunning revelation confirmed by sources within the CCXV Camp, James “The Boar” Quodling has been dropped from the Cauliflower Club XV Team to take on the Wagga “Murdered Crows” Old Boys this Saturday, due to ‘fitness’ issues. In what has been widely touted internationally as the biggest Rugby match before the World Cup, many of the CCXV will be fighting it out for a late call up to Cheika’s World Cup Wallaby squad to head to Japan in a few weeks and this match has more at stake than the Pumas v Randwick or Wallabies v Samoa Test for Rugby Fans with the CCXV regarded as “The People’s Team”.
CCXV Coach, Laurie Fisher, sensationally dropped Quodling after a poor showing in Crookwell and failing to crack first seat in The Boat Race for the big post-match festivities John Connolly Rugby Park. “He just hasn’t been able to bring it to the table’” stated Fisher, “And with Wagga Barbarians and VIC Masters being dark horses for the CCXV Challenge, we can’t afford passengers and certainly not ones that make the boat list as heavily to one side like The Boar does.”
CCXV #53, Dave Page from Crookwell Dated Dogs, has been a last minute call-up into a side already heavy with representative talent such as Nick “Pappas” Fife (former St Pats Goulburn Reserve 2nd Grade Prop), Harry “Poona” Fitzgibbon (Junee Rams 3rd Division Captain) and Humpty Doo Swamp Dogs Water Boy, Duncan “Donuts” Bremner. Fisher will be looking to balance Page’s dogged ineptitude on the blind-side of the Ruck with his Forward Pack’s sloth-like speed around the pitch, keeping the ball deep within the paunches of the many CCXV Props, wherever possible.
The CCXV take on Wagga “Murdered Crows” Old Boys at John Connolly Rugby Park in Wagga at 2:30pm this Saturday 7th Sept. Curtain Raiser - Wagga Barbarians vs VIC Masters - at 1:30PM – Raising money for The Cauliflower Club Rugby Charity.
With places for the CCXV now among the hardest to secure in world rugby, the team for the upcoming game on 7th September in Wagga Wagga has been announced. Those on the waiting list are encouraged to travel to support the elite squad who made the cut. The team page is up. Debutant profiles will be published next week.
The CCXV coach for Wagga Wagga has been confirmed with ACT Brumbies and former Munster & Gloucester RugbyCoach, “Lord’ Laurie Fisher, to take the helm. Following in the footsteps of Rod Macqueen and Bob Dwyer, no doubt Fisher considers this amongst this finest achievements to date.
Get your affairs in order and head to Wagga Wagga for an action packed day on 7th September. Action kicks off at 12pm at Connolly Rugby Park with Junior Rugby Presentations and Coaching Clinic with our ex Wallabies.
The CCXV vs Wagga Crows Old Boys kicks off at 2:30pm. CCXV President Swag Adamson (pictured here with former coach Bob Dwyer) was keen to advise media of 2 debutants into the team, who will fight hard to retain their spots among the many fan favourites featuring in this game.